Containing facts, figures and a whole bunch of nothing...
Join the ranks of the galactically stupid!
Published on September 22, 2003 By Dark-Star In Personal Relationships
In Honor of Stupid People( not us )

In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turnupsidedown."
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...And you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(And...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Comments
on Sep 22, 2003
This just remined me of a lecture at uni a few years ago. The guest lecturer was talking about all increased litigation, insurance costs, disclaimers, etc. He jokingly said that soon, they'd have to have a warning sign about the folding seats at sportsgrounds or in this lecture hall. Someone coughed, and pointed out the "CAUTION: Seats are folding" sign behind the lecturer.
on Oct 02, 2003
Oh, thank you for this! Made my day!

on Oct 21, 2003
In defense of the Japanese food processor and the Swedish chain saw, there is obviously a language issue involved here. Unfortunately, Americans have not figured out yet that people from other countries have to learn English to communicate with them and sometimes they make mistakes.